Pseudonyms

I've been thinking about pseudonyms recently.

I've had a lot of pseudonyms including, of course, Dr. Gonzo. It's second nature for me to have a lot of pseudonyms for anonymity reasons. Since Middle School, I've always gone by at least one. For someone whose historically been quite paranoid, putting my name out there is scary. I don't want everything linked back to me.

But there's always something lost in terms of a pseudonym, because a pseudonym is also a persona. You have to hide parts of yourself for the sake of preserving the anonymity that the pseudonym grants. So at the same time, you can open yourself up a ton... And you also need to close yourself off. It's a balancing act I'm not entirely comfortable with.

Choosing a pseudonym is also tricky. Names signal a lot to people; what culture you're from, what gender you are, potentially even your personality. Not all of these signals are accurate but they're projected onto you anyway.

I've been thinking about this aspect of pseudonymity because Dr. Gonzo.. Is a bad person. I like the vibe of this blog, I like the film (and book), and I think Dr. Gonzo is an interesting character. Referencing Gonzo the muppet is also a cute addition. But I'm also not Dr. Gonzo. I'm a fairly morally-minded person and I'm agender. But Dr. Gonzo is aggressively a shitty, sexist man.

I don't intend on changing the name of this blog but I do worry that my pseudonym might scare people off. Maybe I'll change my avatar to the muppet. We'll see. Either way, I don't think I'll ever be fully satisfied. After all, a pseudonym is still a persona.

-- Dr. Gonzo